too late...?

i used to think i could forgive people forever, that there wasn't anything too horrible that'd make me hate someone so bad that i couldn't forgive them. well...i have been proven wrong. i can't forgive someone who said they loved me, lead me on for over a year, and then i find out that it was probably all a lie. that he cheated on me, used me, and never intended for us to ever be together again.

its too late for me to take back my heart, my love, and myself from him. i was, am, head over heels for him. but i'm so hurt that i don't think i can EVER take him back...i can't go through that. every time i see a picture or hear a song that reminds me of him, a little part of me dies, and another little part gets mad.

i told myself that it was too late for me to ever love again, that no one could fix me. but its never too late for that. i've found a guy who makes me smile, who makes me feel safe and comfortable. a guy who likes me for who i am, who doesn't want me to change anything about me. a guy who thinks i'm crazy for thinking i need to lose weight. he's sweet, endearing, and practically perfect for me. we aren't "together", we just hang out and spend time together. we spend hours playing video games, watching movies, talking, and just being.

i thought it was too late for me to change who i have become, but i already have. i don't hate who i am anymore. i'm not the weak little girl i was with my ex, i'm not going to change for anyone ever again. i love who i am, i love me, and there isn't anything wrong with who i am.